Wacky Warning Labels

M-LAW's Wacky Warning Labels

TOILET BRUSH THAT WARNS, “DO NOT USE FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE” WINS TOP PRIZE IN M-LAW’S EIGHTH ANNUAL WACKY WARNING LABEL CONTEST

A flushable toilet brush that warns users, “Do not use for personal hygiene” has been identified as the nation’s wackiest warning label in an annual contest sponsored by a consumer watchdog group.

The Wacky Warning Label Contest, now in its eighth year, is conducted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, M-LAW, to reveal how lawsuits, and concern about lawsuits, have created a need for common sense warnings on products.

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Posted on Saturday, March 5, 2005 at 11:58PM by Registered CommenterJoel | CommentsPost a Comment

Crime and punishment

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates.

The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time.

After 3 years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community, and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

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Posted on Monday, February 21, 2005 at 03:28AM by Registered CommenterJoel | CommentsPost a Comment

Tomatoes

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family. His wife watches TV all day and his three teenage kids have dropped out of high school to hang around with the local toughs. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.

The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that we can get you in the loop. Our system will automatically e-mail you all the forms and advise you when to start and where to report on your first day."

Taken aback, the man protests that he is poor and has neither a computer nor an e-mail address.

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Posted on Monday, February 21, 2005 at 03:26AM by Registered CommenterJoel | CommentsPost a Comment

The buzz

Frank Lingua, president and CEO of Dissembling Associates, is the nation's leading purveyor of buzzwords, catch phrases and clichés for people too busy to speak in plain English. Business Finance contributing editor Dan Danbom interviewed Lingua in his New York City office:

Danbom: Is being a cliché expert a full-time job?
Lingua: Bottom line is that I have a full plate 24/7.

Danbom: Is it hard to keep up with the seemingly endless supply of clichés that spew from business?
Lingua: Some days, I don't have the bandwidth. It's like drinking from a fire hydrant.

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Posted on Monday, February 21, 2005 at 03:24AM by Registered CommenterJoel | CommentsPost a Comment

Dog story

A guy passing by sees a sign on the door: Talking Dog for sale. He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard.  

The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.    
"You talk?", he asks.    
"Yep," the mutt replies.    

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Posted on Monday, February 21, 2005 at 03:23AM by Registered CommenterJoel | CommentsPost a Comment